The College World Reporter

The College World=20 Reporter

May 2010 =

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Breaking=20 = The Cycle

Signs of Domestic = Abuse - 3=20 Deadly Mistakes of Not Believing What You = See the=20 First Time

By=20 Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.=20 = D.

"If someone shows you who they are, = believe=20 them the first time." Sounds so sensible, = doesn't=20 it?

If this bit of common sense = were=20 practiced more often by women and men before = their=20 abusive relationship fully establishes, then = there would=20 be far less intimate partner = violence.

Why=20 do people choose not to factor in truths already = revealed? Why do people turn their head and look = the=20 other way? Why do people say to themselves, what = is=20 isn't?

If you have ever been in an = abusive=20 relationship or if you are standing in the path = of one=20 developing, this article is for = you.

Let's=20 take a look at the underlying psychology between = you and=20 the reality of your circumstances.

1) You so want it to be as you fantasize it = to be,=20 more than anything else. So you may minimize = behaviors=20 that, under different circumstances, are obvious = red=20 flags. And to help you with this mind game with=20 yourself, you embellish that which is "right on" = and=20 compensate for that which is = not.

2) You=20 think that what you have witnessed and = experienced with=20 this new partner is your "faulty take" = (inaccurate=20 perception) on the matter. In other words, it's = your=20 perception driven by your own problems. Inherent = in this=20 is your distrust in yourself and your inner=20 knowing.

3) You think that, even if = you=20 spot something that's just not right, you can = change it=20 or get your desired partner to change it. This = is a very=20 dangerous expectation. It's a setup for you to = become=20 responsible for another person's behavior. It's = an=20 invitation to live in another person's business. = And, as=20 you probably know, when you're in someone else's = business, who then is available to take care of = yours?=20 No one.

"If someone shows you who = they are,=20 believe them the first time." These simple = little words=20 could save you from the nightmare of domestic = violence,=20 if you know the signs of domestic abuse. =20

To learn more about the signs of domestic = abuse,=20 browse our domestic abuse resources and obtain = Instant=20 Access to Free Survivor Success = eInsights:

Preventing Domestic=20 Abuse

Survivor eInsights

KEYWORDS:

Signs of domestic abuse,signs of mental=20 abuse,domestic abuse signs,abuse signs,warning = signs of=20 abuse

About=20 Dr. King:
Dr. Jeanne King, Ph.D., = author,=20 speaker, psychologist and leading expert in the = subtle=20 communication patterns of domestic abuse, helps = people=20 break the cycle of abuse and heal the wounds of=20 relationship violence. She is founding director = of=20 Partners in Prevention, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit=20 organization committed to helping bridge = healthcare=20 delivery and domestic abuse victim=20 advocacy.

About Partners = in=20 Prevention:
Partners in Prevention = is=20 devoted to insuring that healthcare intervention = and=20 treatment for domestic violence survivors = supports these=20 patients in regaining their safety, health, and=20 well-being. For survivor and advocate = educational=20 resources on domestic abuse. Please visit=20

http://www.enddomesticabuse.org/ebooks.php<= SPAN=20 style=3D"COLOR: rgb(255,255,255)">,=20 www.EndDomesticAbuse.org

Contact=20 Information:

Partners=20 In Prevention

13918=20 E. Mississippi Avenue

Aurora,=20 CO 80012

720-222-1058

www.enddomesticabuse.org

<= /DIV>

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The=20 College World Reporter may contain links to = websites=20 that are created and maintained by other = organizations.=20 Donell Edwards Media does not necessarily = endorse the=20 views expressed on these websites, nor does it = guarantee=20 the accuracy or completeness of any information=20 presented there. =20 =